i can’t stare at the sky and pretend to plant roots of reason between the clouds.
i can’t look at the ocean and act like i know every tint and shade of blue and green
i can’t confidently spell the word forever
i thought i understood it
why the tide never stops trying to kiss the shore no matter how many times she rejects it
why the night raises secrets that we keep from ourselves to the surface
why people run away from what they have been searching for
and we desperately crave these becauses,
these answers and resolutions to sew up the edges of the boxes that our minds are so comfortable thinking in.
but if reason is the illusion all that we have left is hope

and in those moments before falling asleep
while we’re caught in the middle of the day’s shadow
the pulls of our wants and our beliefs become stronger than reality
and i will not train myself to dream in black and white.